Choosing Adoption

One would think that choosing to place a child for adoption would be hard.  The actual DECISION was not hard for me.  The action of GIVING my child to another was the single hardest thing I have had to do.

So, as you probably had read, my pregnancy was VERY unplanned.  I was 20 at the time and did not like children (I still don't really like that many people's kids, especially those rowdy ones), had no partner, lived with my parents, and made "ok" money for a single person who liked to party.

Well, my first thought was: I guess I'm going to have a baby...ugh!  I had no clue what to do first, where to go, what to buy, what to do, who to do it with - or not with.  After I made sure 'Fred' knew I was really pregnant and he understood it was HIS (mind you, it OBVIOUSLY WAS HIS, but apparently; this is a common question among unsuspecting biological fathers), we talked about keeping the baby.  We thought IF we did this, I would keep the baby and he would support me and it.  Yea, right.  The boy made $8.00 an hour at a clothing store.  Probably not going to happen.    Abortion crossed my mind, but only fleetingly.  While there were plenty of people in my life who thought this was a good an viable decision, I did not.  From the get go.  'Fred' said he thought this was the best way to go, but I told him it wasn't going to happen.

When I told my parents that I was considering keeping the baby, my mother told me I needed to move out, because I had no idea what it was like to be on my own.  So, I did.  My good friend and I moved into a two bedroom apartment and lived there while I was pregnant.  We had some fum times, especially after I had the baby...

You may think that my parents were/are not supportive, but they actually really are.  When they kicked me out, I didn't think so, but now I see it really was for the best.  I had already decided to place Baby A1 for adoption, but I moved out anyway.  I learned a lot about myself and grew up a ton.

So now that I decided with adoption, I needed to find who I was going to give my baby to...