I was adopted from South Korea when I was five months old. My parents were always open with me about where I came from and encouraged both me and my brother to learn about Korean culture. He was always more interested in that than I.
Growing up, I struggled more with the kids I grew up with teasing me about "normal" things than being adopted. I didn't really question WHY I was adopted. I never obsessed over who my biological parents were.
The therapists I have been to always ask something along the lines of: Do you wonder where you came from and why you were put up for adoption? I do not. My parents were very clear where I came from, they were always willing to tell me or help me find the answers to any of my questions. There isn't really much for me to find out. Since my parents were always to offering of the answers they had, I didn't have a need to search for more. I was abandoned, found my way to an orphanage and then sent to America for my parents. There is no one to ask WHY my biological parents couldn't, didn't or wouldn't raise me. I am grateful that I didn't question it as much as others do.
With the knowledge that I was adopted, I feel that I was able to be satisfied with who I am today. I can only imagine that I would be struggling more with myself if I had not been given the tools to find my answers when I needed them. Finding where you are from is NOT on the timeline of anyone but you. You are looking for answers about who YOU are, who YOU are from and who YOU are going to become. It is not up to anyone else. Please, adoptive parents, keep that in mind when your child asks you to help them find or contact their biological parents. It IS harder on them to not know where they are from.
Hey lady,
ReplyDeleteI follow your blog Dawn's Disaster and just found this blog through your other blog. I was also adopted.
I used to be afraid to tell people I was adopted. I don't know why - my parents always told me that I was from a young age and were supportive of my search for my birth family if I ever did decide to look. I did finally decide to look and I found them a few months ago. We haven't met but we've talked online. It's good to know where I came from and that I have other siblings but I already have a family so I don't feel like I can just accept them as my family.
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